Monday, April 1, 2019

Apprehension and Living Life over Fifty

Life has been a roller coaster of emotions since becoming 50 over four years ago. I thought that once I was in my 50's I'd have everything figured out, know everything about myself (okay, you can stop laughing now), and be well established doing all the things I love and living how and where I love. Yeah, not so.



I was trying to write poetry for this A to Z challenge. Eight years ago I began this writing journey in full force, eight years, and I haven't written much poetry since 2014. Even though I had tremendous breakthroughs in my novel writing at the end of 2017 and beginning of 2018 I still wasn't writing poetry, or at least not much of it. This past weekend I set aside a four day retreat (dog sitting) with no other agenda except to write, dance, and play. Nope, it did not go well. Apprehension and anxiety reared their heads and instead spent the whole weekend avoiding the page; binge watching on Netflix and playing scrabble on my phone anything to stay away from the page, or the laptop.

#AtoZChallenge 2019 Tenth Anniversary badge

This morning I awoke from a dream of snakes in the road and floating above and over them easily. After some thoughts about what this could mean, I decided to try again. I turned on some music, moved my body and asked, "What is my theme, what am I going to write about for this A to Z challenge that I am determined to help reignite my poetry?"

I thought of how it felt on my journey to becoming a crone. Ideas began to percolate as I moved to the tribal sounding music. Emotions, becoming a crone, how it feels to be in this stage of life, and I had it. I am going to write about the emotional journey of living in the second half of life, of moving through menopause, of doing my best to live an authentic life which I love; whether it is poetry, prose, or just stream of consciousness. Why limit myself especially since I seem to have so much anxiety attached to my poetry, still, after five years past the event that threw me into a tailspin over writing poetry. I'm determined to write my way through it as I often tell others to do.


Photo by MDragonwillow
Dinosaur footprints 

Kicking my apprehension 
and
anxiety to the curb
walking my own path
breathing in 
the 
cold spring air
allowing my journey 
to 
unfold


You know (if you've been around my journey at all) how much I love photography so I will be showing my photos that I've been collecting while walking and pet sitting fur babies. I see the most interesting things on our walks.

I look forward to reading what you share on this A to Z Blogging Challenge.

Please leave your blog address with your comment so that I may visit your A to Z posts as well. Thank you!



Willow a.k.a. MDragonwillow, author of Wild Woman Waking & Dancing within Shadow, is a Bodywork transformer, dancing poet, motivator of words, dog walker, pet sitter, and creatrix of #OctPoWriMo & #PoetsonthePage

5 comments:

  1. Willow, you've inspired and jump-started so many of us. I am happy to see your words. Write on, good woman! xoA

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Annis. I appreciate you stopping by and giving your support. It has meant a lot to me over the years, having you supporting my writing and I love that I can continue to be inspiration for other writers and poets.

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  2. I found your blog via the A to Z Challenge and so glad I did! Your poetry is beautiful. And I can't wait to read your poetry this month!

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  3. You have allowed yourself to choose a theme that matters to you. I like how you decided to kick all your anxiety to the curb. Go go go! For poetry and more...

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  4. You have been a huge inspiration to me, and many others, in the past couple of years. Keep the flame lit!!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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