Pages

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Unexpected Joy - Flash Fiction


I sat on my blanket, at the edge of the lake, completely focused on my journal, and swallowing back the great rocks that felt forever lodged in my throat. A flash of white caught my attention and I looked up. A beautiful swan coasted seamlessly through the water. I looked down continuing to write when the swan stepped out of the water towards me. I thought she might be hungry; I reached for my pack to pull out bread. She shook the water off and immediately changed into a woman wearing a cloak of white feathers..

My mouth dropped open and she said with a smile, "You might want to close your mouth dear, eternity can be seen within that chasm.

I snapped my mouth closed then said, “Who are you and where did you come from?” 

“I came from the water.” She said simply.

“I saw that but how?” I am talking to a swan shape shifted into a woman; am I dreaming? I could still feel the ache deep in my throat. I don't think so, maybe I have finally gone over the edge into insanity, or maybe my heart stopped and I just don't know it yet.

“I am water, or rather Goddess of the water.” My mouth dropped open again then snapped shut so hard the vibration rang in my head. No need to give myself a headache I better not do that again.

“Okay putting aside the fact that that sounds crazy, why are you here?”

“You needed me... your sorrow pulled me to you.” She slowly walked over and stood before me.  “You are lucky that I heard you first.”

“Why?” She was so beautiful, almost hard to look at, but I couldn’t turn away from her deep, dark blue eyes.

“Because there are things that are attracted to sorrow that I am sure you would not like to show up ever in your sweet life.” I blinked. As far as I was concerned this was the most outside the norm I could imagine and now she’s saying that something crazier and scarier than this could happen. I quickly looked around.

“I was just journaling.” I said cautiously.

“Yes and you were pouring your heart into your words.” Her eyes took me in as if she were enfolding me within her arms. “There isn't anything I can do about your loss.” I felt my heart painfully skipping along.  “But I can show you a piece of your future if you like; well actually I can show you your feelings in the future...”  

She came forward and placed her hand over my heart. I closed my eyes and at first I felt tremendous peace wash over me, and then I felt great joy; I felt the greatest joy that I could possibly imagine. A tear slid down my cheek. She then slid her hand down over my belly and I knew in an instant where the joy came from.

He was gone but I would always have something wonderful to remember him by.

“Thank you.” The tears flowed freely now; the rocks in my throat melting away. She smiled and moved back toward the lake. As soon as her feet touched the water she transformed into the beautiful swan. I just stood there glowing from her presence, wondering if I would ever see her again and then looked around with a little fear at the others that she mentioned. I definitely didn’t want to run into any of them. I packed up to leave and my hand drifted to my belly and I smiled.


*My writing prompt for this piece The Goddess of Water from the Shapeshifter Tarot Deck by D.J. Conway and Sirona Knight. My word count 599.

Other Stories you might enjoy:

Essence of Life
Time to Remember
Shapeshifters


If you enjoyed this please share 

5 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wouldn't it be great in times of great saddness to be able to connect to future joy? Great story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is possible to remember that the sadness we are feeling is only temporary just as joy is temporary. Everything changes, we never stay within the same emotion for long. It is allowing ourselves to be in the moment, feel our feelings, then move on, that we can find a place of peace and contentment.

      I love seeing the story through your eyes. Thank you.

      Peace,
      Morgan

      Delete
  3. Since you asked, I will offer. We need to work on your sentence structure some. I think you could really benefit from it. You know how you want people to see things in your stories, but when you write it, it feels choppy, like a children's book (I think I made that comment to you recently).

    We'll get you there. Don't you worry.

    I did like the piece though. I'm a little curious what said "beasties" would be, but I'm sure that's a story for another time. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I really enjoyed reading this. I love the idea of the swam coming out of the water. I love the message that she gives to the woman. in some places your writing is clear and precise. In others, I feel as if something is out of place. Example:

    “Thank you.” The tears flowed freely now; the rocks in my throat melting away. She smiled and moved back toward the lake. As soon as her feet touched the water she transformed into the beautiful swan. I just stood there glowing from her presence, wondering if I would ever see her again and then looked around with a little fear at the others that she mentioned. I definitely didn’t want to run into any of them.

    I love the description of the woman turning back into a swan here. It's beautiful. Then when she looks around with "a little fear" and "I definitely didn't want to run into any of them," it felt off to me and I'm not sure why. Maybe try incorporating action and movement with it? She's standing there, watching the woman/swan, basking in her new-found knowledge and she hears a sound or something. She wonders if it's one of "them". She picks up her journal and walks away....

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Follow by Email

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner