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Thursday, October 5, 2017

What makes a father?

Father
Loving, Caring
Strict yet supportive
Teaches you about life
Serenity
***
Father
Selfish, Unforgiving
Stingy, callous, narcissist
Scolding without any compasion
Abusive
***
Today, I didn't follow OctPoWriMo's Day 5 prompt at all. Or maybe I did, in so far that I now better understand what I lived through as a child.

I am struggling with understanding the father of my children's ways. Struggling real hard. 

Instead of teaching his children from a place of love, he scolds from a place of "You should have paid more atention". Instead of giving them the benefit of the doubt and trying to find out how to best help them overcome their struggles, he puts their nose in it and makes them lick it up. It reminds me too much of how I was raised. 

It is hard to find the best way to help my children grow their own wings and soar.

12 comments:

  1. The contrasting elevenies really work. It makes you wonder as a reader: why does one father become the one type, and another the other?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it does! If you as my father, he'd say it's the mother's fault. I'm not sure I agree with him entirely, considering our history, but I haven't had the strength to debate this with him fully.
      Thank you for reading and commenting!

      Delete
  2. It is hard to imagine having a father who was so cruel. Maybe he too had a bad childhood.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I know why he/they were so cruel. And yes, they had bad childhoods. It explains, but it doesn't excuse. I had a bad childhood, and I decided to work on myself so as not to reproduce it with my children. Or try not to at least (I'm not saying I was entirely successfull, especially with the example I gave of what relationships look like).

      Some days I pity the father of my children. Others, mostly, I pity my children.

      Thank you for reading and commenting!

      Delete
  3. prefer number one. I got number 2- did you too?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I prefer number one, got #2 and married a #2 too.
      At least, now I know what I'm looking for in a man, one who is more like #1 with his children...

      Delete
  4. Thank you for the contrasting portraits. I was lucky and delivered to Father Number One.

    And I think you're right about the poems illuminating something you now understand. Thank you. xoA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm happy to read that you got Father Number One. Some days I wish I had too. But it was my lesson in life, to learn how to change that family dynamic.

      Thank you for the comment. You are right, it did follow the prompt in the end... XO

      Delete
  5. This is intense and makes me think of some students I've had in the past. It's amazing the damage one person can do to another.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed. I am learning to overcome that damage every day. And trying to be an example for my children to overcome their struggles too.

      Thank you for your comment! What do you teach?

      Delete
  6. This is a poem that makes you think. Is this two fathers or one? We contain dark and light, hopefully in balance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. These are two fathers, but you are right, no one is all bad, and no one is all good. I must admit I'd prefer for light to overcome dark more often, I believe the world would be a better place if we manage to teach our children about safety and love.
      But I am a dreaamer!

      Thank you for reading and commenting, I'm glad it made you pause.

      Delete

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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